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September 2005
I'm
a lucky, lucky man
I've
had the honour of corresponding with Mrs. Suha Arafat!
I
got this e-mail out of the blue:
Dear
Intending partner
This
mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current
events in the international media with reference to the Middle East
and Palestine in particular.
I
am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader
who died recently in Paris.
Since
his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into
a state of antagonism,confusion,humiliation, frustration and hopelessness
by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization
and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and
psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost
confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.
You
must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery
of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the
allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my
name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine
Government. In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government
so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not
relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the
Moslem community has no regards for woman, hence my desire for a foreign
assistance. You can visit the BBC news broadcast below for better understanding
of what I am talking about;
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3479937.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3995769.stm
I
have deposited the sum of 20 million dollars with a security firm abroad
whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall
be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for
safe keeping and any Investment opportunity. This arrangement is known
to you and my personal Attorney.He might be dealing with you directly
for security reasons as the case may be.
In
view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits,
we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $20,000,000
that will be kept in your position for a while and invested in your
name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahwa, will come off age
and take full responsibility of her Family Estate/inheritance.
Please
note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time
and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in
your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children.
In
case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international
media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence
I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please
expedite action.
Yours
sincerely,
Mrs Suha Arafa
REPLY
EMAIL TO suhaarafat74@netscape.net
Being
a chivalrous kinda guy, I responded:
Suha
you hook-nose cunt! Great to hear from ya!
Sorry
to hear about Yasser. All that unprotected anal sex with the lads in
Gaza must have taken its toll at last.
Anyway,
send your phone number and I'll give you a ring (God Willing).
Yours
in Allah,
Tex.
I
guess Suha liked my informal tone, coz she wrote back to me:
Dear
Tex
Thanks
your for your prompt response to my mail and your willingness to assist
me. I am sending you this mail with maximum secrecy and believing that
you will understand my present situation. Contact my family lawyer who
is based in London for the details of this transaction, he has my husband
will and even the documents of all our assets .I called him after reading
your mail and his secretary send me this information's for me to give
you so that you can reach him.
Barrister
Geoffrey Bell
(Solicitor & Advocate)
Office Tel/Fax: 442079002798
Cell Phone: 44 704 012 2138,44 704 01 2 2207
E-mail;geoffbelllaw@msn.com
Please all I need from you is to always update me with the development
of things in this transaction because of my condition I will not be
communicating with you always for security reason. Please try and work
co-operatively with the lawyer .I want you treat and take me like your
own sister and please don't take advantage of my condiction.Always keep
the transaction confidential, this transaction is only know by me ,
my lawyer and you .Please contact the lawyer by sending him your full
details and also copy me so that I will know more about your and your
family.The lawyer said that you will be given 30% of the total money
for your assistance,10% will be used for all expenses and 60% is for
me and the lawyer.
Contact
the lawyer with the above information.
PLZ
WHEN YOU CONTACT THE BARRISTER ,PLZ LET ME KNOW,
THANKS STAY BLESS
WAITING
FOR YOUR REPLY//////
Best
regards
Mrs. Suha Arafat
I
responded immediately:
Dear
Suha,
I
spoke to Geoffrey Bell. I understand he is setting up a farm-property
development scheme in Paris where men can legally have sex with their
donkeys before onselling them as tax-deductible livestock. Naturally
I am very excited by this, as I have been persecuted by fundamentalist
muslims and government agencies everywhere for my romantic abnormalities.
Do
you think you would be interested in setting up a joint-equity account
for ManDonkey Farms? That would effectively launder your money for you
whilst allowing me to live out my dreams.
I
am willing to send my savings account into this joint fund immediately,
$81,223.54 Australian dollars.
How
is the weather in Paris anyway? I am so exicted at the prospect of entering
into a business relationship with you!
Please
have yourself or Geoff call me immediately on +61
(02) 8354 - 1711 and ask for "Mr Donkey".
Yours
in donkey-love,
Tex
Let's
see if she gets back to me. Nice lady.
The
smelly, ugly people get some wires crossed
Vigilant
TV has some photos of the 'anti-globalisation' protests in Sydney.
Of
course, like all lefty nutball rallies, they seem a little confused as
to exactly what they're protesting about. Here's some dork waving
Palestinians flags, someone whinging about voluntary
student unionism, something about communism
in Venezuela, something about short
Spaniards and Bob Geldof, and an awful lot of people who haven't seen
a bathtub in a long time.
The
most baffling image of the day however, is this
one:
Justice
for TJ Hickey
- an aboriginal delinquent who died after crashing his bicycle. This was
of course, somehow the police's fault.
Hollingsworth
- err, our former Governor-General? (What the fuck?)
Reynolds
- Burt Reynolds? Henry
Reynolds? Glenn Reynolds? Debbie
Reynolds?
Somebody's
obviously up to his eyebrows in pharmaceutical refreshment.
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for older whackings?
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