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The
Dog's Tits |
Live
Whacking Archive 7-9-02 Quote of the day The man
who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years
of his life.
Another session
in Tex's Big Screen DVD theatre tonight: revisited The
Score. About as good as it gets. And it's the only decent performance
Brando has given since he discovered milkshakes.
New Link Been reading
her for a while...never got around to linking her. So here she is - the
magnificent Kathy Kinsley.
6-9-02 One of
the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's
work is terribly important.
Hugh Mackay can stuff up even a Sep.11 article Australia's proclaimed intellectual giant Hugh Mackay's great contribution to the Sep.11 anniversary is his new Sydney Morning Herald column The fundamental things. A remarkable title, considering Mackay fails to make any point whatsoever in his murky, waffling prose. It's a stunningly bad effort, even by his standards. Some 'choice' excerpts:
Well no actually, you dummy. "9/11" is the american date-format shorthand for the whole horrid series of events. Mackay loves answering his own stupid rhetorical questions.
Well, shit hey! Stunning depth of analysis. Someone forward this to the few highschool dropouts who didn't think exactly this by midnight, September 11, 2001.
....and the revelations keep rolling in. Why isn't this man writing for The New York Times?
A beautiful, classic Mackayism: an emotive, yet vague and quite meaningless suggestion, bereft of examples or evidence, posing as intellectual insight.
Jean Baudrillard couldn't write such florid piffle. Exactly how many of the millions of New Yorkers sought semiotic solace in art galleries then, Hugh? You wouldn't be drawing out more dodgy analysis from cretinous generalisations would you?
I must have missed this declaration. Who made it exactly? Surely Mackay isn't just - *gasp*! - making this stuff up as he goes, is he??
Hugh Mackay's mind wanders where few others dare: the long-forgotten bloody obvious.
The scary
thing is that this is probably the most specific and relevant point this
supposedly great social researcher and intellectual has made in years.
The nasty side of Hanan Ashrawi The charming,
soft-spoken Palestinian spokeswoman aint
quite as "hugs-n-cuddles" as she's made out to be.
Princess Di - bah, who cares.... Whaddaya know, a column from The Mirror I actually enjoyed. Wish I'd read something like this 5 years ago. Fortunately, Christopher HItchens did an excellent TV show saying pretty much the same things.
Hehehehehe.
Read the rest of it.
Quote of the day God put
me on this Earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I am so far
behind, I will never die.
How to be a good Anti-American
TIP #1: America as First Cause A little
sophistry can go a long way in blaming the USA for everything. Lots of
vague, emotive mumbling about global capitalism, McDonalds, Nike and whatnot
should get the juices pumping. It needn't have any relevance to the subject
at hand, it merely useful as a device to set the scene: the Americans
are out there conducting naughty, evil free trade. This creates victims,
who (of course) must strike back!! You may then take great joy in whatever
atrocity they conduct, but be sure to couch it in sober droning about
the need for America to "understand" why people hate them so
much. Hey, it works for Jose
Bove. This TIP #2: The "Either/Or" method A tried-and-true tactic is the fabulous "either/or" method: whenever trouble develops in the world, you can immediately begin squealing at the Americans for not doing anything about it, about being isolationists, selfish capitalist pigs and whatnot. If the americans do act, you can howl outrage about warmongering, American cultural imperialism, oppression of the third world, and suchlike. Somalia and Bosnia were wonderful examples of this. With the European Union and other governments too stupid, impotent or disinterested to solve either situation, the Americans were called in to do the dirty work. Naturally, they rightfully got the blame for every mistake that got made. Never mind the fact that they were the only ones with the balls and the muscle to actually doing anything. As good anti-americans, we have the privilege of pontificating with all the arrogance of folks who have never had to stand up for anything and believe we'd all have been better off if the nice Soviets had been running things TIP #3: The United Nations This is your big stick of Legitimacy. This fine body is here to serve as a brake on those wild, stupid, warmongering Americans. It shall be held up as an enlightened, sober group of liberal intellectuals who serve freedom, human rights and the brotherhood of man. UN doctrine and policy will almost always run contrary to that of the USA. As the UN are the enlightened, clever, level-headed ones. You can use this as your whacking stick. Of course, some might protest that the UN is at best a useless, cowardly bureaucratic monolith and at worst a dangerous, obstructionist propaganda mouthpiece for every scumbag and tyrant on the planet, and that friendly mass-murderer Colonel Ghaddafi has been appointed head of their human rights body. But you can ignore them. This is the United Nations after all, and they are the good guys. They will look after the world and protect us against these rampaging american scum. TIP #4: Maintain your intellectual/cultural superiority Americans - as we all know - are stupid, warmongering rednecks, who lack the refinement, artistic sense and sophistication of Europeans and the like. It pays not to think about this one too much though, or mention it in any specific way. Just keep it in mind to maintain your smug superiority. Be careful not to think about how the Americans - as a whole - make better movies, TV and music than anyone else, and that the rest of the world thinks European movies are a great cure for insomnia and would rather watch American ones. If someone should mention such things, just try to change the subject or mutter something about american cultural hegemony, or the jews in Hollywood, or how American cinema chains keep refusing to promote such crowd pleasing film-epics as The Existential Ennui of Jacques the Goat-Herder. Think not about how the Americans are the only country to land on the moon, about how they are the leaders in almost every scientific field, that everyone in third-world countries wants to move to the USA, while hardly anybody in the USA wants to move anywhere else. Do not think about such things. Your cultural superiority is assured: you, of course, are an enlightened non-American, and they are mere buffoons. TIP #5: Faking geopolitical relevance There are ample opportunities to carp about Americans taking action on the world stage, even when you are (after great pain) forced to accept they are justified in doing so. The way to do this is to insist that the americans ask for and receive international approval and support for these actions, regardless of the complete lack of alternatives put forth by our non-american brethren. Of course, some uncultured american swine may ask "why the fuck do we need you in the first place?". Merely respond with accusations that this is proof of their arrogance (under no circumstance should you attempt to answer their crude question) TIP #6: The Middle East A very useful weapon in the anti-American cause. The simple mention of Palestine, "occupied territories" and the intifada is enough to ensure a teary-eyed blubbery response from a huge collection of clueless dingbats worldwide. Do not consider
for a moment that Israel is the only democracy in the entire middle east,
which is attempting to defend itself from an entire continent which would
gladly slaughter them in seconds were Consider not for a moment that many more Palestinians have died at the hands of other arabs than at the hands of the Israelis. Consider not for a moment that the problem with Palestine has more to do with a psychotic death-cult religion which seeks to exterminate Jews. Rather, sit back and pretend it's all about US-supported Zionism. The evilness of capitalism and Jews is a real grabber. TIP #7: Don't look in the mirror
Especially don't think about Europe as the home of Nazism, genocide, communism and appeasers of third-world tyrants. Don't think about the French as the country that blew up the Rainbow Warrior and attempted to kill its entire crew, or whose intellectuals supported Mao, Stalin and Pol Pot. Don't think about Africa as the home of slavery, brutal tribal racism, colossal human rights abuses, massive corruption and generally neanderthal cultural beliefs. (If anyone mentions Africa, blame White People and change the subject). Don't think about Asia as the place of military tyrants, mass slaughter and open racism. Don't think about how the Muslim world has not managed to create a single free, democratic society, about how they have not managed to create the slightest trace of an intellectual culture outside of fundamentalist clerics, about how the entire history of the Islamic world essentially boils down to warfare and prehistoric barbarism. Don't think about how every communist society became a brutal dictatorship of the party, where mass-murder, starvation, horrid standard-of-living and cultural backwardness were the norm. Our communist brothers stood for equality and humanity remember? They are better than those filthy yanquis with their money, liberty and whatnot. TIP #8: Read heaps & leave your brain at the door
Overall, this is arguably the most important principle of anti-american behaviour: anything the americans do is *always* worse than anything anyone else does. One must not waste valuable time and energy criticising non-american countries, particularly if those countries are third-world toiletbowls run by genocidal tyrants. This might lead some gullible fools to believe that the USA isn't the worst place in the world. Some examples; You see?
With these nine tips you'll find it much easier to maintain the correct
perspective on things and keep your mind focused on the true, american-induced
horrors of this world.
4-9-02 A man who
is willing to commit suicide has the initiative.
I've been
slow on the blogging updates, mainly because I've spent most of the last
24 hours barfing up a lung or two. Holy christ, last night was really
12 hours of my life I'd like to forget. Endless power-puking, skull-splitting
headaches, sore back and muscle pains. Wonderful fun.
Don't miss the 2002 Snowy Mountains Ride I missed
this event last year,
but I'm not gonna miss it this time. If you're considering going, please
take time to read the safety
message from the organisers: ie. stay on your damned side of the road
and don't treat it as a race.
2-9-02 How come he gets all the freaks? If they ever
hand out awards for "The Blogger With The Weirdest Readership",
James Russell at Hot Buttered
Death is a shoo-in. Just check out his list
of search strings that people have used to find his site. Dude, what
kind of e-mails do you get?
Took a few days off. Got a bit bored with the world of the web. Had a nice, kinda lazy weekend. Rode to Goulburn on Saturday for lunch with my brother. First real opportunity to...um....tap out my new ZX-9R a bit. HeeHee. This is a seriously fast motorcycle. Sunday was
lazy. Picked up my new $240 wooden chess set. Very nice. Did go to dinner
at the Southern
Cross Club. I love clubs: kick-ass food and decently-priced beer in
a nice atmosphere. Found a new brew I like very much: Tooheys
New.
Holy Crapholies!! Back in July I had over 1800 individual visits and around 16,000 hits. But for August I got 7,752 individual visits and almost 60,000 hits. Farkin hell!!!! Thanks to everyone who reads my daily waffling. Thanks especially to everyone who links to it. It seems the person I have to thank most for this massive jump in traffic is the Immaculate Blogatrice herself - Sasha Castel. Bless you m'lady. I must also thank the furious Rottweiler for his support. I'd also like to thank everyone else who's linked to me. You know who you are, and my heartfelt thanks. Send me fan/hate
mail: tex **AT** whackingday **DOT** com
Fritz Pettyjohn of California writes
Well, fellow
Oz-bloggers? What say thou? Personally, I think it'd have sod-all chance,
despite any supposedly warm-fuzzy feeling the yanquis have for
is. If my memory serves me correctly, it aint happened after any other
war where we've supported the USA, I doubt it'd happen now.
Search strings thru which people have discovered this site: canberra
times ellis refugee (heh. Accurate on so many levels)
"We'll send Australians home in bags", says Iraq Oooooh, these dudes are scary huh?
No you won't dickhead. The americans pounded your sorry caveman-asses into a pulp last time. Now you're even weaker than you were then. What are you going to do to them, squeal about "the wrath of Allah"? They'll laugh in your face and ram a grenade up your ass, fucker.
They faced it last time, and you got your asses kicked. Muslim warriors are great at shooting civilians, killing babies and beating up women, but when you're faced with an american, aussie or israeli who can shoot back you wet your fucking pants and run screaming in the other direction. News dude:
enjoy your last days. You're gonna get squashed. Talk all you want about
muslim anger, allah's wrath and all the rest of your islamic crap. It
won't mean shit. They're gonna be shovelling what's left of your corpse
into a ditch, and there is nothing you can do about it. 30-8-02
Inheritance Tax There's a
discussion about a 100% Inhertiance Tax going on over at the Catallaxy
boys' place. Let me just say, I'm on Mark
Harrison's side the whole way.
Did I really need to know this? Bruce Hill
at WarNow! brings terrifying
news: Germaine Greer is back
in the country.
Vodkapundit
has compiled
a list of some of his celebrity insults. Just superb.
Thanks to
Sasha Castel for this
link to a Cuba travel-diary.
The dossier against a dictator The Times
Online presents 21
good reasons to oust Saddam. Looking for older whackings? |
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Brothers!!!
in these oppressive times where american democracy, movies and evil consumer
goods threaten to crush us all, or brainwash us into becoming consumerist
sheep, it behoves us all to maintain our intellectual righteousness. So
I've prepared this little guide to help you sharpen up your anti-american
rage.
It's
best of course to avoid any discussions about the geopolitical history
of enlightened non-American nations.
Collate
the works of a few noted anti-USA geniuses, such as Noam Chomsky, Edward
Said, John Pilger, Marc Herold and anybody who writes for The Guardian.
You can then back up your arguments with really impressive sounding quotations.
Make sure you have a good range of them though, lest some arrogant american
lapdog make a note of Chomsky's support for the Khmer Rouge, Pilger's
"selective" scholasticism and Herold's rather bad grasp of basic
arithmetic.
The
second contingent of crack troops from the elite Special Air Services
(SAS) regiment to serve in Afghanistan returned home to a warm welcome
from family and dignitaries.