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Live Whacking Permalink Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

11 October 2004

Election quote of the day

According to Democrats leader Andrew Bartlett, this is "a disaster for democracy." Which is true, if you define "democracy" as "being dicked around by unpopular, legislation-blocking mutants."

- Tim Blair, commenting on the coalition's success in the senate election


Where, oh where, is Richard Neville?

It's been two days since the election, and not a peep from him.

Maybe he flushed himself down the toilet.


Who I voted for

The choice in my seat for the House of Reps was truly awful. I had to put one of the Democrats as my second preference. Eeeuurcchh. Here's how I marked my ballot paper:

1- Belinda Bariner (Lib)
2- Aaron Matthews (Dem)
3- Jim Arnold (Citizens Electoral Council)
4- Annette Ellis (Labor)
5- Sue Ellerman (Greens)

The senate was a little more interesting:

1- Dave Edwards (Independent)
2- Gary Humphries (Lib)
3- Ian Morrison (Lib)
4- Tim Janes (Christian Democratic Party)
5- John Miller (Christian Democratic Party)
6- Kate Lundy (Labor)
7- David Smith (Labor)
8- Rachel Jacobs (Dem)
9- Peta Bourne (Dem)
10- Jeanette Jolly (Australian Progressive Alliance)
11- Ryan Deebank (Australian Progressive Alliance)
12- Roland Manderson (Greens)
13- Kerrie Tucker (Greens)

Dave Edwards - 'The Squeedgeeman' - is a fellow who makes his living washing car windows at traffic lights. He ran on a process of tax reform. Sounded much better than any of the other morons on this ticket, so he got my first choice. Sadly, he didn't win. At least that wretched commie bint Kerrie Tucker failed to get a seat.


More federal election reactions

Serial Sydney Morning Herald whinger Alan Ramsey - who has spent most of the year assuring everyone that Howard was fleeing in terror from the mighty Latham juggernaut - has blown a gasket over the election result:

How on earth could we have put this scheming, mendacious little man and his miserable claque back in office for another three years? Worse, how could we have brought them to the very brink of absolute control of the nation's entire parliamentary process and authority?

Very easily, as things turned out, to the cost of the rest of us and our national self-respect.

For almost nine years this Government, incompetent in most everything except mediocrity, debauched its word and the people's trust, along with voters' gullibility, their ignorance, their taxes and, in the end, their greedy self-interest.

Awww, chin up wanker. He's given you three more years of column material.

I thought we had more brains, more self-respect. I was wrong in thinking enough voters "just might" see through the confidence trickery of John Howard, master illusionist and toad of a human being. I apologise for nothing.

The old fart really doesn't like people, does he?

Meanwhile, the perpetually outraged weenies at The Green Left Weekly are very, very cranky:

Before these elections, hundreds of thousands of people who disagreed strongly with Howard’s pro-war, anti-social and anti-environment agenda hoped that the job might be done through the ballot box on October 9. They were disappointed.

The electoral system is rigged in favour of the ruling corporate elite. The ALP “opposition” was never a real opposition. It continues to share the Coalition’s neoliberal, corporate-first ideology and agenda. The real opposition over the next period will be made in the streets.

"in favour of the ruling corporate elite" - ie. the candidates people actually want to vote for. The Greenies are very upset we didn't pay them enough attention. One wonders how badly the Greenies will suffer from Relevance Deficit Sydrome now their influence in the senate has been obliterated.


Gloating... just for fun

More election feedback, but this time, from coalition voters in the letters section of The Australian:

Could you please convey to Phillip Adams the sincere apologies of all those voters who were so undeserving, ungrateful and stupid as to not take any notice of him.
Ian M. Cook
Chapel Hill, Qld

Bad news for Tasmanian forests, but there's always a silver lining; Phillip Adams may have died from apoplexy.
Michael Guppy
Moruya, NSW

Is it too much to expect that this time Phillip Adams will leave the country?
Peter Raftery
Indooroopilly, Qld

Prime ministerial candidates who claim economic responsibility should not go around hugging Gough Whitlam.
Sandra K. Eckersley
Marrickville, NSW

A brief message for all your correspondents who have been swamping these pages with anti-Howard smart-arse two-liners. Up yours.
Stuart Hastings
Robina, Qld

HAS an Australian media ever been so disconnected with the Australian people? I suggest more Nescafe and less latte.
Peter Cain
Newstead, Tas

MY one great regret about the return of the Howard Government is that I wasn't there to see the look on the faces of Alan Ramsey, Mike Carlton and Phillip Adams. Mind you, I did enjoy Kerry O'Brien's obvious disappointment.
Ted Porter
Artarmon, NSW

I CANNOT think of anybody who assisted John Howard and the Liberal Party in this election more than your columnist Phillip Adams. He has the potential to keep them in power for years to come. The Liberals should try to cultivate more of his ilk. Keep it up, Phillip.
Len Tournier
Delacombe, Vic

Well said lads.....


A fearless dissident

A brave, brave American woman offers her support to her beseiged Australian comrades:

We in the US are very involved in the presidential campaign, and working to get rid of Bush. But I wanted you to know that here in suburban Washington, DC, some of us are thinking of you, and supporting you in your efforts to get rid of Howard (elect Latham?). Someday I really want to visit Australia, but I won't do so under a Howard regime. Have always loved Australia, have always wanted to visit, and would have in these 2001-2004 years, except for Howard. I don't even buy Australian wine anymore, on principle. Supporting you from afar.

Danielle Greene
Falls Church
Virginia, USA

The pillars of the Australian tourist industry are crumbling as we speak.



The funniest damned news ticker you'll ever read.

And he's quite right: despite her loopy politics, Senator Natasha Stott-Despoja was a babe on Channel 9's election coverage.


Suck my ineluctably-supplementary-mediated cock, you fuck

Jacques Derrida - the world's largest intellectual hairball - has croaked at age 74.

I had to read this cunt's unintelligble sludge during my university degree. Some people found it very profound to read 25,000 pages of text, which basically said the same fucking thing over and over: stuff doesn't mean what it says.

Here I present you one of the introductory paragraphs from Speech and Phenomena:

In the one case 'to differ' signifies nonidentity; in the other case it signifies the order of the same. Yet there must be a common, although entirely differant (différante), root within the sphere that relates the two movements of differing to one another. We provisionally give the name differance to this sameness which is not identical: by the silent writing of its a, it has the desired advantage of referring to differing, both as spacing/temporalizing and as the movement that structures every dissociation.

Uh, yeah. Hey, how about an excerpt from his essay on Rousseau? This is actually one of his more coherent paragraphs:

To produce this signifying structure obviously cannot consist of reproducing, by the effaced and respectful doubling of commentary, the conscious, voluntary, intentional relationship that the writer institutes in his exchanges with the history to which he belongs thanks to the element of language. This moment of doubling commentary should no doubt have its place in a critical reading. To recognise and respect all its classical exigencies is not easy and requires all the instruments of traditional criticism. Without this recognition and this respect, critical production would risk developing in any direction at all and authorise itself to say almost anything. But this indispensable guardrail has always only protected, it has never opened, a reading.

And on and on he went for forty bloody years. Fucking French piece-of-shit-writing-maggot.

I'll leave his wretched intellectual legacy for others to review. I just want the months of my life I spent reading the pretentious asshole to be given back to me.

I hope Jacques Derrida is getting buttfucked by elephants in hell right now. I want professors who teach this shit to have their testicles eaten by the Ebola virus. I want cultural theorists who quote him cleaning toilets in Lubyanka.

His death is too small a punishment for his sins.


The ACT election

Yes, those of us in Canberra get to vote again this weekend. Thankfully in this election I've got decent candidiates to vote for: the Liberal Democratic Party.

Hey, if you were running for office they'd vote for you.


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