The Dog's Tits
Gates of Vienna
23 July 2009
A new dawn of something or other
24 June 2009
In case you were wondering....
1. I am alive and well.
2. I will soon be re-starting this thing, and it will look very, very different.
Got back yesterday from three days in the harbour city.
I spent a good deal of it at the Löwenbräu Keller at The Rocks, getting completely shitfaced and eating a giant pork schnitzel and a delicious cheese spatzle (amongst other things).
Awesome beer. Awesome food. Awesome schnapps. One of the best places to spend a lazy afternoon I can think of.
Yeah I've been a busy boy recently.
I had a great time there. For the first time, an Italian didn't win the big race during my presence (I missed Casey Stoner's victory last year). Stoner led from the start, with Nicky Hayden on his arse for the first half of the race. Rossi had an entertaining stoush with James Toseland early on, before finally catching Hayden on the penultimate lap to grab second place.
Stayed at a house just a 20-minute walk from the track, which was rather handy when you consider what a nightmare the traffic situation is during the GP weekend.
I sat at the Bass Strait stand this year, though next year I may try the new stand at Southern Loop.
Just a part of the panoramic views from the Bass Strait stand.
Oh wait, it's actually in communist Cuba.
Our local Stalinist idiots are up to their 9/11 "truther" ravings again. Amongst them:
This is pretty dire. Two of the three hosts are terrible, the camera work at the 'test track' is shithouse, the supposedly witty banter is cringe-worthy, plus the reviews and 'challenges' are lame.
Leave this show to the British please.
The big USA
Ron Paul** (who causes arseflapping hysterics among big government "conservatives", possibly because he actually understands economics), seems to be the only politician talking sense about this psychotic exercise in corporate welfare. Can you just imagine the reaction from certain quarters if Jimmy Carter had come up with this bailout plan?
Never mind, partisan stooges, I'm sure those geniuses McCain and Obama will figure out what to do. Fucking idiots.
(** Yes, I know all about Ronnie's weird tolerance for the 'truther' idiots)
Finally, someone has actually designed a real "three-wheeled bike"....................
The TriRod Adrenaline, a 2-litre v-twin...
Looks brilliant. Unlike the Can-Am Spyder, the low profile and C.O.G. means it won't need an intrusive stability-control system to avoid tipping over. With the traction of three wheels, it should be a demon around corners.
It won't be cheap though....
While I've been away
I've been around, I just couldn't be bothered saying anything. I'm off tomorrow on a motorbike ride with some other chaps around NSW & Victoria. Back on Friday for a week, then I'm off to watch the MotoGP race at Phillip Island.
Happenings while I was silent....
- The Chinese held their creepy olympics, during which we were treated to the usual horseshit from media retards about our 'brave' athletes.
- Rob Thomson nears the end of his remarkable journey through Asia, Europe and America via recumbent bicycle and skateboard.
- Valentino Rossi has all but wrapped up the MotoGP title, after a bizarre season of alternating dominance between various riders.
- I went to the Canberra Craft Beer Festival. $20 for entry got you ten 'tastes' of offerings from a dozen or so micro-breweries. Some lovely drops I'd never sampled before.
- The appalling Brendan Nelson has been unsurprisingly dumped from his position as Federal Opposition Leader. Good riddance.
My message to the world: shut up and get a fucking grip will you?
In the worst presidential choice Americans have faced since Nixon diced with McGovern, Sarah Palin gets picked as McCain's veep candidate, causing complete and utter derangement in leftists the world over.
Meanwhile, conservatives are hyperventilating themselves to death over Obama supposedly going to turn America into the USSR.
For fucks sake you tools: calm down . Does anybody with an ounce of common sense think McCain is remotely capable of being an effective president? Do any of you Obama-The-Messiah crowd actually have any idea on how this "change" bullshit will manifest itself?
Here's the horrible truth people, and there's no way out of it:
Both of these morons will fuck the USA royally in their upcoming term.
Either way, we're going to get an economically incompetent clown who will do nothing to reverse Dubya's appalling financial direction, and someone who will fight the war against terror in a completey half-arsed manner which will achieve little except costing the USA a lot more money and soldiers' lives.
But hey, let's not worry about this stuff eh? It's clearly much more important to talk about Obama's stage props at the convention, or who Trig Palin's real mother is, or if Obama is "really a Muslim", or all those non-existent books Palin didn't ban, or some 5-second soundbite of some candidate saying something stupid. You partisan types can wank yourselves to death over believing this choice in November actually matters.
So, blogosphere and media, unless you have something substantial to say about how the candidates actually differ, in actual real policy and results terms, then SHUT THE FUCK UP you fucking tedious useless arsecunting wankers.
I'm sick and fucking tired of listening to your idiot, insubstantial, blithering, childish partisan crap about nothing. There are real issues at play in an American presidential election, so why do all you fucking fools concentrate on the goddamned circus as if it actually matters?
Biophysicist and scent expert Luca Turin, when asked about Coco Chanel's directive to 'wear perfume wherever one wants to be kissed':
I've got zero interest in dance as an art form. I've got even less interest in those awful talent-search shows.
My lady, who agrees with me for the most part, is nonetheless hooked on the American dance/talent-search show So You Think You Can Dance.
It seems a lot classier than the creepy Idol-type shows, as the judges seem genuinely interest in finding talent, as opposed to being smarmy, self-absorbed judgmental twats. This is the primary reason I don't throw large objects at the TV while my other half watches it.
It's a good thing too, because once, I got to see this.
How utterly bizarre, funny, demented and wonderful. Well done dancey-people.
Bonus trivia: SYTYCD (and Idol) creator Nigel Lythgoe used to be a choreographer for The Muppet Show. That's what you call an impressive resume. (Although it begs the question: how does one choreograph for puppets with no legs?)
In the manner of all nanny-state creeps, Gino Vumbaca asks...
Maybe because they're offering a product I can choose not to buy. You know, a consensual exchange between parties and all that.
Who invited this imbecile to stick his fucking idiot nose into my life?
Is there anyone in the entire public health industry who isn't a raging totalitarian control-freak?
Gee, and he was doing such a good job at lowering prices too.
Chief ACCC retard Graeme Samuel comments:
Quite right too. A person who has achieved absolutely nothing during his time as commissioner is probably the most valuable person the public has ever had "serve" them in that wretched, parasitic watchdog.
Now the ACCC can go back to doing really important things, like going after people for selling their own property.
A while back I mentioned I was looking forward to reading this:
If you're interested in reading it, don't bother.
It turned out to be a serious disappointment.
The bulk of the novel is a prosaic diary of the variety we-got-attacked-by-someone... then-we-got-bogged.... then-we-got lost... then I got sick.... I wrote to my wife.... then we got lost.... then we got attacked... then we got bogged again... oh the truck is broken...hey there's a german plane!....hey we're bogged again.... etc. etc.
There's little sense of tension in the background story of the war in Africa, something I was sure Pressfield would be good at. And he is... for a while. In the first few chapters, there's an excellent outline of just what the British army was up against in that campaign. The stage is set for a great story.
Yet the instant the narrator joins the special forces Long Range Desert Group, the entire momentum of the story flatlines. I was turning each page hoping he'd just bloody get on with it and start telling an interesting story. It doesn't happen.
Gates of Fire this aint.
This lady is easily the best female pop/rock vocalist since Ann Wilson. But in a music industry filled with clueless howlers and drug-addled skanks, Miss Connie doesn't fit in so easily. Knowing how to sing clearly doesn't help.
I've been a huge fan of hers since Primary, but she's never quite had a vehicle worthy of her talents. Primary had some great tunes, but a little too much murky genre-mashing overall. These days she's in Sneaky Sound System, a pretty cool electro/dance/rock outfit, but who would be a far lesser entity without Mitchell's pipes.
God knows what she's doing in the same universe as bores like Aguilera, Beyonce and company. Those girls have great voices, but they don't seem to understand that singing needs to be doing more than tiresome eight-octave, scale-climbing wailing.
Outstanding. You go girl.
My latest order includes:
The Killer Angels - Michael Shaara
The Missionary Position - Christopher Hitchens
The Tomb - F. Paul Wilson
Stalk and Kill: The Thrill and Danger of the Sniper Experience - Adrian Gilbert
...and a service manual for my VTR1000.
The answer is a resounding "no"
But where will the thousands of desperate fame-hungry sluts and rock-apes go to find their 15 minutes now?
I guess some brothels may be hiring.
Busty American "glamour model" Erica Campbell has quit after finding Jesus.
Religion has robbed the world of one of the world's greatest pair of boobs.
This "god" character has a lot to answer for.
Andrew Bolt, who should know better, is crapping on again about Richard Pratt and the dreaded evil of "price fixing".
Just have a look at the fools in the comments section. Unable to make any logical defence of criminal sanctions against people setting a price for their own property, the screeching imbeciles give us shite like this:
And to think: these stupid fucking micro-encephaloids actually get to vote.
From the dear-departed Jew-hating uberkook Joe Vialls, back in December 2004:
It was all set to be crushed by the fearsome axis of Vladimir Putin, Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro.
Bwehehe. I'm also curious as to what happened regarding Joe's other predictions:
- Vladimir Putin would nuke Israel in revenge for the Beslan massacre (which was of course committed by the Mossad).
Good old Wacky Joe. How poorer we are not having him around any more.
- he's shone flashing lights on a painting. Ooooh.
Poita wants us all to marvel at his revolutionary genius, because he's like "unified" arts forms and created interactivity. "Hey kids!! Why watch stupid movies when I've created something using lights and music....like together and shit!". Ooooh!
It provides remarkable comedy value when a condescending arthaus twit finally discovers decades-old concepts teenagers have been enjoying in the form of (among other things) rave parties and videogames - and the fucking clueless old fart actually thinks he's a cultural revolutionary because he's discovered "technology".
My lady and I have become hooked on these folks:
I've always hated these instant-noodle type places, where your boxed noodle meal is usually consists of shit like wet cabbage filler and horrible cheap, overpowering Asian sauces.
There are set combo meals, but most customers concoct their own dish;
First, you choose your box size (even 'small' is a great, fulfilling meal)
Next, pick your noodle type (five different types, all delicious, or even rice if you like)
Next, you pick your sauce (I usually get satay or curry, lady gets Mongolian or oyster 'n soy)
Next, you pick your veggies (we always say "none", which means you get more noodles and meat)
Last, choose your meat, which is always of good quality.
If you live near one of these, you simply must try them. The best bang-for-buck meal you can get. Unfortunately for most of you, there are only two of them, and both are in Canberra.
Hey, I'm sure he's the nicest ex-Hitler Youth religious leader you can meet, but I just can't get all excited about his visit.
First, we get crypto-fascist laws making it illegal to "annoy" his pilgrims, and the now usual array of heavy-handed "security" measures by the increasingly paramilitary NSW police force.
Second, we get thousands of delusional, idiot pilgrims creating traffic chaos and generally making noisy idiots out of themselves.
Third, taxpayers have to pay millions of dollars for all this shit.
Fourth, we get irritating blanket TV coverage of this wanker festival.
...and last but not least, today Sydney motorcyclists who were parked in designated motorcycle parking spaces get their bikes towed away by arsehole parking rangers and their Boys-in-Blue escorts.
Why? Well, I'm sure they were....um...a severe security risk or something.
This has to be the weirdest season in a long time.
First, Stoner crushes them in Qatar. Then, his season starts going down the toilet at an alarming rate as he crashes and experiences shitty luck while rookie Lorenzo and the other Spanish dwarf Pedrosa score wins.
Then Rossi gets his mojo back and wins three in a row. His remarkable Rookie teammate Lorenzo crashes and hurts himself pretty badly, and has been nowhere since.
Now, Stoner, from outta nowhere, comes back and wins three in a row, including last night's race in Germany, while championship leader Pedrosa crashes while enjoying a 7.5 second lead.
Now, Rossi is back on top of the points table.
Talk about a yo-yo season.
Sadly, while the results have been interesting, the races have tended be processional and rather dull, with the respective winners looking like they've done it pretty easily.
Please, Dorna, go back to the 990s
I'd quite like to ride one of these around Australia: Buell's strange and fascinating XB12X, aka the Ulysses.
I've written before about Buell's wonderfully oddball sports bikes, which shovel ancient and overweight Harley Sportster engines into radical modern chassis. Now they've had a stroke of genius and done the same thing to create an all-roads adventure machine.
It's no "serious" adventure bike, like BMW's R1200GS Adventure, so you won't be taking it over any sand dunes, but it still seems to cut the mustard as an all-road tourer. It certainly looks better and can probably out-handle practically anything in the soft-roader market. It's a Buell though, so build quality is still questionable.
Still, I'd have one. Another to be added to my possible next-new-bike purchase list.
Got back from Melbourne a few days ago, where I saw The Angels.
Old and slow they may be, and Doc Neeson looks worse than Keith Richards, but goddamn the fuckers can still play.
Got a lot of time on your hands? You like Formula 1 racing?
Are you a completely clueless cockspank who thinks a motorcycle is a car with two less wheels? Well don't worry, you can buy yourself the mighty Rocketshield:
Oh dear. Oh dear.
In other words, her entire adult life was devoted to a genocidal ideology. What a piece of shit.
I missed this little gem from back in May:
Reminds me of that great joke about Fidel Castro;
Canadian guy gets married
....or more precisely, Damian Penny has tied the knot.
Well done mate.
(And yes, I did know about it ages ago)
Frankly I'm shocked - shocked!! - that Mr. Pat Walker hasn't solved these problems.
What exactly is this cockhead getting paid for?
I liked this bit:
Tim Willocks' The Religion and Mark Woodforde's
Unheralded Victory: The Defeat of the Viet Cong and the North Vietnamese Army.
"She simply looks like a cat's asshole before it's been dewormed"
You know how the poor, peace-loving 'palestinians' in Gaza are all starving to death (or something) because all those big, nasty Jews decided to blockade them for no reason?
Seems there's more to the story than they'd have you think.
And elsewhere, it turns out yet another Israeli "massacre" of "Palestinians" turns out not to have actually happened.
Geez, Islamists are actually a bunch of lying vermin? Yeah, I'm surprised too...............
Fucking nazi trash.
11 May 2008
Hey clown, where's that cheap petrol then?
Pat Walker: a worthless stooge of a nanny-state which despises property rights and voluntary transaction. And the useless wanker can't even pretend to have achieved anything.
May we all one day be worthy to share the planet with this bloke:
Boys. Fighting the German Army. Jesus.
David Bellavia, a former infantry Sergeant in the US Army, provides a searing first-hand account of the battle of Fallujah in 2004.
You'll learn more from reading this book than you will have gained from years of clueless mainstream media coverage.
I'm going to get myself a copy of Michael Yon's Moment of Truth in Iraq. Yon's website should be compulsory reading for everybody, especially the moral defectives who blubber about the brave Iraqi "resistance" standing up against the evil Americans.
Reading Instapundit on Friday, I saw with some surprise and delight that Gates of Fire author Steven Pressfield had just come out with a new novel, this time in a 'modern' setting: Killing Rommel. I now have a copy and I'll get started on it today. Not everything of Pressfield's works. Tides of War proved to be impenetrable for me thanks to a laboured "fourth-hand" narration. But when he gets it right, man does he get it right.
One book I'm going to order, which I skimmed through briefly at Tom Paine's place was Mark Woodforde's Unheralded Victory, explaining how, in pure military terms, the USA handed the communists their arse on a plate during the Vietnam war. Of course, lefties go completely apeshit when you tell them this.
On July 9th, I'll be off to Hallam, Vic. to watch the reunion of The Angels.
Doc Neeson is in shocking shape nowdays (a car accident fucked him royally), but his voice is still in good order. I could go watch them in Sydney (it's a hellava lot closer), but I'll be teaming up with a charming bunch of degenerates I met at Phillip Island a couple of months back.
It'll be fun, kiddies. Certainly better than any of the crap I endured at The Big Day Out a few years ago.
My mention of The Angels got me thinking about Australian rock n' roll over the years.
Japan's looming demographic catastrophe:
Quote of the day
- Steve H.
Kevin Rudd held his festival of idiots, where useless twats like Cate Blanchett told all us unwashed types how Australia should be run. Naturally, absolutely nothing of any value came out of it, but all fuzzy lefty types got to feel good about themselves.
Thousands of creepy wannabe Red Guards descended on the olympic torch relay in Canberra to defend the honour of China by acting like a bunch of brainless, thuggish cunts. Prime Minister Potato-Head wasn't bothered by this at all.
Potato-Head also decided to solve teenage alcoholism by increasing the tax on pre-mixed drinks.Thanks for making things more expensive in order to achieve absolutely nothing, arsehole. Still, for nanny-statists, looking like you're doing something and having the correct feelings is more important than actual results, or god help us, actual notions of personal freedom and responsibility.
The huge and stupid IPL 20/20 tournament came and went, leaving behind a legacy of truly awful "cricket".
One of the more 'entertaining' cover versions you'll ever hear. Must catch these guys when they tour.
Why does he cry? Then again, why the fuck is he singing?
(Link thanks to Gromit)
Paul Sheehan recently excoriated some particularly vile members of the legal profession:
Nice people these lawyers.
I'm not a smoker, but here's a periodical I'm always keen to read:
Cigar Aficionado is a monthly unapologetic 'fuck you' to health nazis, greenies and all other forms of life-crushing, nanny-statist lefty trash.
Every issue is a compendium of "smoke cigars, they'll make you feel great....go gamble shitloads and get drunk in las vegas and get yourself a $100,000 hooker... get rich and buy a fucken jet-powered speedboat, because it's fun".
Ya gotta love a magazine that carries adverts for jet airplanes, helicopters, supercars and $5000 bottles of scotch.
There isn't the slightest concession to the envious or the humourless. There are no wanky little editorials about drinking/smoking/fucking "in moderation", spending your money responsibly, carbon offsets or any of that miserablist, mope-faced drool.
The editors and writers make no apology for liking expensive/fun/dangerous man-toys and hobbies. For those not financially blessed, there's lots of "hey, here's a great $8 cigar and $30 bourbon you can enjoy after work".
Pure hedonism and life-affirming fun. Haha, stick that up your arse, commie fuckers :)
Picture of the day
...is provided by Alan Moon:
The metropolis of Mullumbimby has formed a righteous plan of action to stop all sorts of wickedness:
Ya gotta love the usual commie grab-bag of outrage issues all tied together with the opening of a supermarket.
There really must be a lot of stupid people in this backwater looking to inject some meaning into their pathetic little lives. Useless twits.
(Link via reader Raffi)
I shall sacrifice many beers in his honour.
The trip to Mexico was a good one. Stayed with NeoZionCon operative Tom Paine. Ate lots. Drank moderately. Looked around motorcycle stores and bookshops. Weather was great, as were the restaurants. Tom Paine doesn't make a half-bad roast chicken-n-spuds dinner either.
Remarkable video of one of those colossal Antonov planes just barely managing to take off from Canberra airport.
It's the commentary from the air traffic controllers that really makes it entertaining.
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