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Live Whacking Permalink Archive
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22 December 2004

Another one for the "maybe" list

If there's one bike I regret never riding, it is Kawasaki's ZX7R.

Sadly, the bike ceased production during 2003. This didn't come as a surprise. The bike had received not one single update since its release in 1996, and - on paper at least - was falling miles behind the other superbike competitors. I guess the bosses at the Big K decided they were losing face by continuing to manufacture the machine.

While Honda finally ditched their RC45 in favour of a twin, and Suzuki kept releasing ever more high-tech variants of the GSXR-750, Kawasaki soldiered on alone in the 750cc, four-cylinder production superbike class.

In World Superbike guise, the ZX7 won a mere seven races between 1996 and 2002, and in street form was a whopping 40kgs+ heavier than the GSXR750 or Yamaha's exotic R7.

Like I said, the stats don't point to a great bike. Those who got to ride it thought otherwise. Most positive reviews focused on the bike's biggest strength: its phenomenal stability. With apparently the best front end in the history of production sportsbikes, the bike could absolutely be caned over the crappiest of roads, while the well-sorted suspension, geometry and weight kept the front tyre completely planted. In other words, it was the perfect bike for Australia's back roads.

I always loved the look of the machine: the "alien" front end with the wide, twin ram-air scoops gave a rare distinctive character for a Japanese sports machine.

It sounded phenomenal too. The wonderful roar of the carburetted Kawasaki ram-air engine made the hairs on your neck stand up.

It wasn't too comfortable apparently, though that is hardly unusual for a superbike. It did have some practical features for road use: the wide, flat pillion seat and strong grab rails provided decent accomodation for the 'better half'. They also provided a great base for strapping luggage to the bike.

I'd love to have a weekend blast on one of these. The Alpine Way or Cann Valley Highway/Imlay Road would be perfect. Pity they don't make them anymore. The bike is too good to be mothballed. So what if it can no longer fit into the superbike class? Kawasaki could just re-name it and market it as a brilliant sports roadbike. It'd be cheap too, as they long ago recovered the development costs for this machine.

I'll keep my eye out next year for a used ZX7R in good condition at a decent price. Wish me luck.


Cuba and Venezuela to crush the USA

So sayeth Crazy Joe.

I'd like to take a wander inside Joe's head for 10 minutes,as I'm curious to see how his brain handles the difference between his Jew-hating bizzaroworld fantasies and what must be the constantly disappointing intrusions of the real world.

During the last thirty years alone, America's Zionist controllers have ordered the calculated murder of more than six million innocents around the world, and the world is not prepared to tolerate another six million innocents being murdered by Zion during the next thirty years.

This statement has gotta be one of the all-time Joe Vialls classics:

Back in November 1962 when President Kennedy forced the removal of Russian missiles from Cuba, very few Americans stopped to ponder whether, at some point in the distant future, the tiny island of Cuba would decide to exact revenge on the United States for this very public humiliation. Forty years ago it all seemed most unlikely, but today the wheel has turned full circle, and a little Fidel Castro payback appears to be just over the horizon.

Bwehehe. Yes, there's some frightening Fidel Revenge afoot. How? read on...

Based on received intelligence, it seems likely that the Island of Cuba will soon be used as 'point man' in a grand plan to deny American warships and other vessels safe transit through the Gulf of Mexico. Quite apart from thoroughly humiliating New York and Washington, such a move will have a far more devastating effect if tankers are denied access to the southern American oil terminals. Without oil imported through its critical southern oil terminals, and also possibly facing denial of access to underwater oil reserves in the Gulf of Mexico, America will collapse in less than six months.

You heard it here first: America will collapse in six months. And we all know how accurate Joe's predictions are. Remember how Putin was going to nuke Israel and the Republican guard was going to drive the USA out of Iraq?

The man who launched a thousand Joe Vialls wet dreams: President Vladimir Putin.

But Joe is convinced he's right this time, because all that intelligence he receives has told his about a new army of space-age Russian M-29 Death Jets which will vaporise the USA in no time.

This is where the really clever bit comes in. Russia has arranged for the Venezuelan pilots to receive their advanced Mig 29 training in Cuba, which already has six earlier version of the aircraft. So the Cuban instructors are well up to the job, but don't have the latest Mig 29 SMT model that the Venezuelan Air Force has. Well, not until next week anyway. Russia is donating four [Onyx equipped] Mig 29 SMTs to Cuba free of charge, for use in training the Venezuelan pilots and then to add to their own inventory. Agreement has also been reached for joint exercises in the future, using Cuban airspace.


So how is the U.S. Navy going to feel when every dark blue Mig 29 SMT flying off a dirt strip in Cuba (yes, they can do that), is possibly carrying an Onyx missile capable of sinking any American ship within a tactical radius of 600 miles?

Yes. The USA is about to be destroyed by Cuba and Venezuela. Hey, stop laughing damn you, this is serious! The amazing thing is that Joe actually believes this stuff.

If you haven't been following Joe's works recently, Mr. Vialls has a serious hard-on for Vladimir Putin, who Joe believes is going to deliver us all from Zionists and the USA. He apparently has all these new space-age weapons which will deal humiliating blows to Israel and America, and the Russian army will conquer Israel and control the world. No really. I asked Joe via e-mail exactly how the Russians were going to achieve this if they haven't been able to control Chechnya so far.

Mr Vialls did not take kindly to this question and started to talk about brainwashing.

Poor Joe. All the king's horses and all the king's men aint gonna put his brain together again......


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